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The last twenty years have taught me or reaffirmed some hard lessons that others don't agree with. I've heard the arguments against every one of these, and I stick to every one of them that I list.
- Privacy is the key to freedom. Other peoples' personal business is not your business. Stay out of it, as long as nobody's life or safety is actually in danger. (See this blog)
- Always look for proof you're wrong, or you might not accept that proof for what it is.
- "Forgive and forget", does not mean "forgive them and forget them". (See this blog)
- From the same blog, religion is not about you or any deity, it's about treating others better than yourself.
- If you "get over it", you may actually bury it and let it gnaw at you until it's actually dealt with. There are some things that just can't be released any other way.
- Don't butt in, but don't turn someone away.
- An opinion is what someone believes may be true based on existing evidence. Facts are unarguable. Opinions disappear when you accept facts that don't agree.
- Your opinion of yourself is biased. What others think of you can be an opportunity for change. If their opinion of you is causing any kind of harm, don't say it's not your business. (See this blog)
- From the same blog, The worst decisions come from impatience. There's a speed limit on thinking and living, too.
- Asking to be left alone is not a cry for help. It's usually the result of overburden, and trying to give help is usually just one more burden on top of those causing the problem.
- If you simply accept what you're told, you have learned nothing. (This is the big lesson from when I was living in New Mexico and why I eventually abandoned Fundamentalism and conservativism.)
- You can't blame yourself for things that others do to you if you didn't agree to it before they do anything.
- The most relentless people are usually the most wrong.
- Life is complicated. Don't simplify it. A valid statement never starts with "All you have to do is".
- Even more importantly, never ignore what anyone tells you for any reason; you don't know why they're doing what they're doing. Some people just don't know how to get a point across, so they do things completely wrong, and may regret it the rest of their life. Plus, you may be the one who's wrong. This is a hard lesson for many to learn, and it took going to New Mexico to learn this. And if you have ever turned your back on someone, the best thing you can ever do is make it up to them.
- But most importantly, it only takes one word added, left out, changed, or fabricated to change the entire meaning of a statement, whether it's a simple mistatement or a blatent lie. Dealing with the consequences of this is the source of my mantra:
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On each of the issues I listed above, I've been on each side of the issue at least once. But whereas many take an "oh, well" attitude, I always think about why anything happens. When it comes to the above list, I can't help but see not sticking to them as selfish. Unfortunately, we live in a selfish society, where we ignore what we do to people in favor of our own ideals or possessions, or leaving things as they already are. We're taught to look out for ourselves, first, leaving others to fend for themselves when they can't.
To wrap up:
When we put our own viewpoints first, we blind ourselves to the truth. Anyone's opinion means little; in fact, it means nothing if the facts say otherwise.
Don't judge. Don't be opinionated. Don't keep questions about the same point. Sometimes a single fact can answer all the questions you have.
I've been wrong about a lot of things. But I've been right about a lot of things that nobody else figured out. And in too many of those cases, they didn't acknowledge what I'd said afterward--and some even took the credit right in front of me. A couple times, I protested to no avail because the other guy was the one in charge.
And some of the points I make above are why I figured some of those things out.
Yet, many people won't accept them.
Go figure.
Until next time . . .
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