Latest Blogs August 8, 2020 Principles of Love August 6, 2020 Confused Words August 1, 2020 More Randomness July 27, 2020 Listen! Again! July 20, 2020 Love and Forgiveness 7/16/20 Random Points 7/12/20 Money Issues 7/7/20 The Political Spectrum 7/2/20 The Pruning Effect					SITE UNDER RECONSTRUCTION A little bit at a time. Check back often. August 6, 2020 Election info added to Calendar July 28, 2020 Calendar revised July 20, 2020 Author page reworked July 17, 2020 Book links fixed 7/8/20 Hit counter added 7/1/20 Background color changed
	6/14/2020	7/20/2020	To be updated	6/13/2020
	See left column	6/6/2020	Always updated	7/17/2020

Before I start this blog, I've been getting a number of people telling me, "But (insert one term I used here) and (insert the corresponding term I used here) do mean the same thing!" And then, they fail to explain their side--like I did. If the other person is explaining, but you're not, you need a new argument. Or, more likely, you have something to learn. Okay, on with this blog. I've talked a lot about love and forgiveness, lately. It even led to one blog. I'll start by clarifying how I define emotion with a single word: Emotion is the bridge between feeling and action. This seemed to confuse one person, so let me explain. You can take a step through your door and move outside with a single step, but you still have to pass through the doorway. When you run water, it doesn't jump from the water company to your faucet, it travels through several miles of pipes. A math student doesn't solve a problem in one step, but uses definitions, theorems, and calculations to find the answer. The doorway, the pipes, and the process of solving those math problems are a bridge between beginning and end. Emotions are like that. One feeling produces one of several possible reactions; each reaction has its own bridge to it; this is the particular emotion. You might feel disgust over what someone else did. Anger, love, and jealousy would all have different reactions. If a woman walked into a man's presence in the nude, his action depends on whether he has love, lust, revulsion, or fear, though surprise will certainly play a role. Those emotions bridge the gap between the feeling produced and the action in responce. I have talked about love many times. Maybe too often. But I hardly ever see it any more. Love is the bridge between caring and self-sacrifice. Let's knock a few misconceptions out of the way: Love is not sexual. That's lust, the bridge betwen physical desire and self-fulfilment. Love doesn't care about money. That's avarice, the bridge between self-interest and self-gratification. Love is supposed to be the central focus of marriage; unfortunately, weddings have become more about self-image, resulting in marriages that should have never happen. Further, keeping a bad marriage going has become the norm. Love is not possession. That's more of an outdated concept, and can lead to obsession or worse. Obession, the consumption of the mind resulting in invading someone else's entire life with the sole idea of literally never letting that person live their own life, is never, ever, love. Things like showing up inside their home, nightly phone calls (or more frequent), or arranging (otherwise) romantic plans for you both without their consent are symptoms. Obsession is more of a fear of being alone, and the poor object of false affection often does the next point for the wrong reasons. Love can mean leaving without a word. The obsessive will not do this. Love means you understand when someone needs to be left alone. (To date, making this decision remains the most painful moment of my life.) But though it's a contradiction, love means you're always willing to be there. Anytime someone needs something, you're willing to surrender of yourself to make things better for them. This is why I have talked about self-sacrifice in relation to love. Love is never, ever a choice. When it happens, the feeling of caring is so strong that it seeks to make your decisions for you. I've known the "love is a choice" people, and when I see them together, I don't see the feeling of caring anywhere near the level it should be. In my opinion, these people (along with those who marry for money or power) are responsible for the lack of love in this country, today. Here are some sad truths about love. Love just happens. We don't expect it, but we have to accept and deal with it. Love can last for years, through experiences with other people, without seeing the other person. These are the people I feel sorry for because almost none of them will ever feel fulfilled. It's easy to make oneself think they love someone when they don't. Sex and frequent companionship are the usual culprits. Money and gifts are also high on the list. (Personally, I include dating as "frequent companionship".) You don't "love" movies, games, or books. We use the term because using the word has become the natural reaction for extreme (self-interested) enjoyment. You love pets and people by being good to them unconditionally. On that note, watch how our pets love us unconditionally. That's how we're supposed to be. You don't love boobies or cock; you lust after them. And you don't love someone because of what you changed them into; that's self-gratification. You love a person for who they are, naturally. And here's the thought that actually inspired this blog: "Love is love" isn't a valid statement. It's a tautology, which affirms something's existence without giving it any kind of meaning or definition. "The law's the law." "Right is right." "God is God." These are tautologies, and they are meaningless. Stop using them. And now, I will restate . . . The Forgiveness Challenge Love and forgiveness go hand in hand--either you have both, or you have neither. And yet, one person can have both, and the other can have neither. This is when the worst complications happen, and it's hard to deal with. Whoever you are, wherever you are, however far away, however long it's been, here's my challenge: Choose one person you feel you need to forgive. Find that person. By whatever method you feel comfortable with, forgive them. In person, by phone, by letter, by whatever method possible. I'm adding that there's no restriction on how many times you can do this. But want to make it a video? Put it online. Challenge two of your friends to do it. It doesn't matter who they are. Just be sure to tag the person you forgive and the people you challege. Just remember, this is something the person you're forgiving should know about. I may even put up my own soon. Until next time . . .

Web page designed and maintained by W G Walters.

All information copyright(c)2005-2020 with all rights reserved unless otherwise noted.